Welcome to The Blogging Journey – Part 3.
It strikes without warning.
And it struck me today, while driving to my “day job.”
Lately, I feel as though I am “wallowing” my way through life.
When I say “wallow” I don’t mean, “to live self-indulgently; luxuriate; revel: to wallow in luxury; to wallow in sentimentality” but rather, “to flounder about; move along or proceed clumsily or with difficulty: A gunboat wallowed toward port.” (Quotes courtesy of www.Dictionary.com.)
A gunboat wallowed toward port.
Just shoot me.
I feel as though I am floundering, and since this blogging journey is about “authenticity” I knew I needed to come clean, and share my tender emotions here, within these posts, with my peeps.
Both of you.
Remember in Part I, it was noted to “Begin with the End in Mind.” You need to know WHERE you are going in order to get there, but the road may not be a straight one. Or even a paved one for that matter.
I also recognize, everyone’s road is unique. And we cannot judge another person’s road unless we have traveled it ourselves.
I haven’t gotten very far on my journey thus far, and frankly have no idea what “the end of the road” looks like. I have a vision. I hope I can find a way to make it to the end of the road, but honestly the route can change 100 ways from Sunday before I arrive.
Regardless, I feel frustrated. Stifled.
As I have mentioned before, part of the marketing game is keeping your friends close, and the competition closer. When I study the competition (a virtual plethora of quality blogs) I grow weak in the knees. I feel unworthy. Inadequate. I wonder, will I ever make it?
Make it where, you ask? To the place in the road where I become the boss of me, financially speaking.
Why I am baring my frail and insecure soul?
Because this mini-meltdown is happening on this journey on this day.
For verification, take a gander at yesterday’s blog, where I equated my internal feelings to this sunflower and its low-hanging head.
I marvel at successful bloggers and wonder, do they ever feel low? Did they ever wonder, “Am I going to make it?”
The bigger question at the moment, how do I beat the blahs? The answer may vary, but the concepts are similar.
Focus on what you can control = TODAY
Make a list and check it twice.
I make a daily task list of tiny little goals, things I want to accomplish today.
There is something magical about listing tasks on paper. And even more magical once you complete an item and cross it off. I don’t care if I have a SINGLE item on my list, I feel like a champion when I cross that little bugger off the list.
Reverse Bucket List
Recently while spying the competition, I read a “Reverse Bucket List” – the things said blogger has ALREADY accomplished. If I remembered her name, of course, I would give credit where its due. Please forgive my lacking memory.
Also, the accomplished concept came as a shock to my system. Instantly I was propelled back several years (feels like hundreds) to a job interview in which I was asked to “name my greatest accomplishment.”
My mind went B L A N K – I looked like a total buffoon. I could not think of one single thing. It was so bad, even the interviewer said, “Surely you can think of something.”
Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.
I will be working on the Reverse Bucket List, to prove to myself what I have already accomplished. I pray the list is plentiful.
Just Keep Swimming
If you have kids, you have seen the movie, “Finding Nemo.” Forever reverberating in my subconscious is the scene where Dory the regal tang fish (voice of Ellen DeGeneres) with short-term memory loss, (more befitting than at first glance!) sings:
You know what you gotta do when life gets you down?
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming swimming swimming
Sometimes, when life gets me down, it’s about all I can do to keep from drowning – to just keep swimming.
Keep the end goal in mind.
Patience is a virtue.
I don’t care how many times, various ways or in what language this has been stated to me, it’s a concept that does not compute in my brain.
Not being equipped with an adequate supply of patience is certainly a weakness, I recognize, but I think I’d rather be stuck in the gunboat, wallowing toward port than practicing patience. At least you can SEE the port.
They say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
God, I hope so.
This lack of virtue is the reason I drink wine. By the bucket load.
Moment of Gratitude
Since I have openly shared numerous character flaws, it’s nice to acknowledge something positive that I practice each day, faithfully.
Usually on my drive to the office, while staring off in the distance at the lovely Rocky Mountains, I look towards the sky, and say, “God bless us this day.”
I always feel a sense of calm wash over me as I offer thanks and recognize the many blessings in my life.
So, I suppose for today, I’ll just keep swimming.
I will worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.